Discouragement has engulfed me. 2010 was a hard year, who am I
kidding, 2009-2010 were hard years. Bringing in the new year I had
such high hopes. A renewed sense of determination.
Here we are a month into the year, and nothing has gone right. The
same struggles exist. Goals, put on the back burner. I feel as if I'm
in quick sand. The harder I try, the deeper I sink. And the deeper I
sink, the more I start to shut down.
Its like living day to day and not really living to my full potential,
because there are things that hold me back. Basic things that stop the
progression.
I keep being reminded to turn to the Lord after you have done all that
you can do, but I don't feel worthy of His help. I feel like that
ungrateful servant that is asking for more? I can't seem to rid myself
of these feelings. And today what seemed like light rain turned into a
monsoon. I have traveled this path for longer than my person can
handle. Discouragement is such a draining and tiring burden to carry.
I have become short tempered, tired, frustrated, and not a happy
person.
Neal A Maxwell said, "Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy
but the absence of courage."
Well, what if you feel inadequate AND that I lack courage?
Today, is ONE of those days.
1 comment:
I hope I didn't sound whiny on this post. I just had to get it out of my system. And then read it a day later and realize I need to make changes. Thanks for the kind words ladies. I'm not publishing the comments because they were on a personal level. But I do appreciate the love and the words of advice. The one thing all of them had in common, was to find time for me, and to trust God. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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