A year of trials & a year of lessons.

If someone had told me 2 years ago that I would be where I am today, I'd call them a bold faced liar. It was inevitable the route my life, & my family was headed. But being the stubborn & prideful person that I "was", you couldn't tell me anything.
Growing up, my dad would often say to me, "there is no pain greater than the pain of regret."
And boy has this quote been the subtitle of my life for the past few years. because of choices I made, I suffered, and caused my family to suffer. Not doing the right thing in all aspects of life, and then wondered why things went so wrong. I feel that finally being able to take a step back and really look at myself, and really self evaluate, and facing trial after trial is what I needed. It was the swift kick in the butt that was a long time coming. Although we still face struggles & trials, I feel I am better equipped to be able to handle them, rather than run & hide. I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for continuing to bless me, and for his tender mercies. Although I have not been worthy, I feel like He was still holding out hope that I would change and change for the better. One of the ways I see his tender mercies, is in my children. I know, people probably think I brag on my kids a little too much, but that's because I know what they have been through, and yet, I see them flourish. They are too good to me & are my constant reminders to always remember the Lords hand in my life. They are that beautiful flower growing in the desert. If they become good people, it is not because of me.
Another way I have seen his blessings in my life is through my family. When I say "my" family, I am referring to my family & my husbands family.They have all been a blessing in our lives, whether big or small, they have helped and I don't think I could ever repay them. I'm sure that the self inflicted trials are over, but come what.may, I have what I need and am holding on tight to the One that will always guide me through anything.