Sleep is so hard when there are so many things weighing on my mind. Lately, I've had this weird fear of dying. I don't know what it is. I think it might be anxiety, or me worrying and stressing over our families future. There are so many things that we have yet to accomplish and I feel like am finally, living! Like all the pieces are coming together. We are healthier both physically and spiritually. And yet this fear is something that I can't seem to shake.
Anyhow, today after being at the gym I received a text from a good friend of mine asking for prayers on behalf of her daughter. I broke down. I am a cry baby. I just can't imagine what her daughter is going through at this time. I can't imagine what she is going through. I can't put myself in her position because I don't know what it is she is dealing with. But my heart aches for her, knowing all too well this bond and love that we have for our children and how difficult it must be.
It has helped me to put things in prespective. To see the big picture. Knowing that this life is just temporary and that regardless of the temporal things we have, all that does not matter. What matters most is how we treat others. How we live our lives. Loving those in our lives and making sure they know that they are loved. And that if the dishes aren't washed and stacked the way I like them, that it's no big deal, as long as they are clean. And that sometimes a teaching opportunity might not be as important as an opportunity to show love and appreciation. This is hard for me. I feel like I am too hard on my husband and too strict with my kids. Things have to be done a certain way and done to the letter or it is not right. I am struggling with trying my hardest to change that. I'm sure that the Lord will not ask us if our homes were clean 24/7 but boy does that affect my mood! But he will probably ask if our homes were a place of prayer. A place of love. A place of peace. A home centered in Christ. I'm working on that.
8 comments:
I'm sorry for your friend. Are you talking about Lauren? I'm so sad for Sila, and can't even imagine what she's going thru. Don't feel alone cause I have felt that way before too. I think every mother thinks of death and we are always too hard on our hubbys, kids, and especially ourselves. Keep ur head up mama :) You're doing the best you can, and always trying to improve so good for you!
Yup, Lauren. They are both such great examples of strength.
I am kind of relieved to hear that other women think these same thoughts because I was worried I was going crazy lol seriously! Thank you for your uplifting words and encouragement! You are a sweetheart!
bless your heart my friend!!! you are an amazing mother and it shows thru ur blog!!! best wishes!! Lauren has touched many what a true example of faith!!!
Silia! Lauren is quite the amazing little girl. We love her and are also touched by her sweet spirit. Thanks for the well wishes friend!
I read Janice's blog on all that is going on with Lauren. My heart goes out to her. Grateful she's been blessed with great parents, family and friends who continue to pray and support her. We have been blessed to know that our earthly death is not the end. But it still can be scary. I def know what you mean!
Her story is nothing less than a miracle. She is a fighter.
Verlynn, your song brought tears to my eyes. I know Sila is grateful for great friends during this time. Thank you for taking time to visit Lauren and keeping her in your prayers.
Kiki, one day I wan scanning through music, I heard that song, and it made me instantly think of Sila and Lauren. Sila has done more for me during our friendship than I could ever repay. Love them to pieces!
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